You are only in a hurry till you get to the front of the queue

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

I say pota(y)to, you say pota(a)to. I say pyramid you say MLM

I am married to a a fantastic partner who is trustworthy and trusting. She is a natural people person so invariably she meets people that feel the need to share their "win win" secret with her.

I am a real cynic when it comes to "getting rich quick" and "working from home" schemes. This is of course to my own detriment as I am definitely not in the "1%". I know that some people do get wealthy from get rich quick from schemes but it is generally some who you know that new a friend etc etc.

I have met folks that has the ability to very successfully "down sell" to their families and extended friendship circles without taking any notice of the annoyed and grumpy ones, generally the partners, that do not like being sold too. I am so one of them. My view is clear: If I need something, I will go and buy it, but if you try and sell me the same product I will tell you, very directly, that you are trying to sell me something I do not need. Even though I may really do need it.

We can all agree that we live in a pretty messed up world that will not get any better any time soon. One of my friends, Andre, once told me that the most precious asset one can have is space and water. He is right of course and as we multiply by the billions space and water will become more and more precious. It is no wonder then that our lifestyles are slowly deteriorating as we become a consumer species. We are all loaded with visceral fats and BP's of 150 over 120 at rest. When I was young the special BBQ treat was Karoo sheep perhaps once or twice a year. The lamb chops were tasty are probably very good for you in moderation. You can still get it, at a price of course, but it does not compare. Perhaps it is just nostalgia or perhaps it is the mesh of unseen radio waves, quality of air, the acidity of the water or the natural change in vegetation that sours the taste. So we all have issues, perhaps it is that belly or big butt or perhaps we feel the need to save the planet all by our lonely self's.

Well that is where the state of Utah steps in and saves the world or at least makes us to pay to save the world. Those crafty non native, ex English, land grabbing, war mongers, that need police the world have figured out how to relieve you of your excess money and make you feel good enough about it to tell the world. Testify brother! Do not get me wrong, MLM's are not pyramids as you do get products, well for inflated unregulated prices at least. Pyramids are ponzi schemes and my dear departed farther, the stingiest person in my little world, so much so that I was going to make him an acrylic headstone with embedded money, ironically and sadly lost his last millions when he invested in a cleverly disguised Madoff fund that seemed legit.

I am an MLM members worst nightmare. The second I walked into the  Melaleuca store in Bangsar, after being told we are just meeting a friend to sign some papers, I knew I had to work hard to make my trusty partner reverse the decision, made with her heart, that would have left us with a room full of overpriced "alternative" good for the planet products. Fortunately I excelled at my task and like a bulldog she did did not stop until every penny came back.

Bing, bing, round number two! In step Nuskin aka TRA with some fresh new koolaid. Drink up they say, there's money in them then thar hills boy. I do not even take koolaid at work, even though our koolaid is the largest and most sought after koolaid on the NSE. Perhaps that is why I am not a 1%er. If you want koolaid and you do not mind the ingredients of koolaid then by all means, the Nuskin koolaid is refreshing. I am here to add some bitterness and a note of sour for you.

Now I am not halve as grumpy as Darren but if you knew how grumpy Darren can be then you would realize that my grumpiness is at a pretty awesome. Yesterday I was invited to coffee to meet some "friends". I could deflect the direct sales patter easily but then they mentioned a "friend" (employer) will be joining us. The patter was clever and practiced. It is as if were back in that room being told timeshare is the best thing ever. My defenses were barely able to cope. Some MLM keywords got me to deflect and divide and then came the shot from the big bertha.

Why don't I get on a scale, conveniently hidden in a laptop bag, so we can work out your body age. My what? Oh I see what you did there. You tell me I have 70 year old body put the fear of the reaper in me so that I must open my wallet to partake in the shared fountain of youth.  The rest of the night was pretty good but it was spent talking to my better half and her long term client/friend that lost quite a bit of weight and that was of course a compelling reason to listen to some of the sales patter.

My fierceness and South African blood made sure that only 3 more short salvos were tried by the employer to train the employees before the futility of the reality at hand set in.

So I researched a bit. OK, lets start at Pharmacology. What is in there that seems to work, for some, as it can not be just a placebo effect. Now there is one thing to be said here. Cooking is just a bunch of ingredients chuck together right? Wrong. Ask Heston about cooking with science but the art of cooking is the hidden and mostly unknown chemical reactions that requires precise timing, precise sequencing and precise environments. In other words an ice cold Coca Cola is awesome (for me) while you can keep an ice cold Pepsi to yourself.

Some products will have a list of ingredients but buyer beware. Read everything here with a pinch of salt as I am not an expert.


Herbals Pharmanex (notice the difference in web site quality) has published this flyer with this get out clause that should be digested and mulled over:-  "*This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease." But they have listed some ingredients of note. Let's take a look at the components but keep in mind that Aristotle said that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Vanadium (as Vanadyl Sulfate) 10 mcg Vanadium is in this group of metals - V 23 (Vanadium) --- CR 24 (Chromium) --- Nb 41 (Niobium)   --- Mo (Molybdenum).

Bite my shiny metal ass, it is time to diet! Hmmmmm, tasty! The best kind of Vanadium is Chrome Vanadium! So I am being hysterical. Vanadium is a also a trace mineral that can be found in mushrooms, shellfish, black pepper, parsley, dill seed, and grains. There is of course one group of people that know all about Vanadium and they have long used the mineral to enhance themselves.


It is better known as Vanadium Sulfate and commercially available in handy capsules that is consumed as salt of Vanadium Sulfate. Vanadium & BodybuildingthumbnailEhow has a good description of this in this article. The recommended dosage should not exceed 10 mg per day.

Whoooo, each capsule contains 10 mcg and you should/could take nine a days.... wait a minute... 1 mg = 0.001 mcg. So you can expect a hit of 0.09 mg per day.  Herbal Placebo alert!!!! So why does the Nordic goddess of beauty, Vanadis or Freyja's namesake work? It seems to mimic the action of insulin thereby contributing to various enzymatic reactions. It is what we would call a sugar rush and speeds up metabolism. For the full pharmacology report about Vanadyl Sulfate go to


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