57 Reasons You Know You’re South African…

  1. You live for a lekker braai, not a barbeque. Barbeque is a chip flavour.
  2. You eat mielies, not corn.
  3. You eat Bar Ones, not Mars Bars.
  4. You eat chips, not crisps.
  5. You eat tomato sauce, All Gold in particular, not ketchup
  6. You’d rather eat a boerewors roll, or a boerie, than a hot dog
  7. You love zoo biscuits and jolly jammers
  8. You prefer Coke to Pepsi
  9. You wear takkies, not sneakers or trainers
  10. You wear a jersey or a top, but not a jumper
  11. You wear pants, not trousers
  12. You wear a swimming costume, or cossie, but most certainly not a bathing suit
  13. You use a serviette, not a napkin
  14. You use lip ice, not lip balm
  15. You walk on the pavement, not sidewalk
  16. You drive around a circle, not a roundabout
  17. You speed up for an orange robot, not traffic light
  18. You check the robots before you go when they turn green in case a taxi is still going through red
  19. You load your Castle Light in the boot, not the trunk
  20. Your car’s engine is under the bonnet, not the hood
  21. You drive a bakkie, not a pick-up truck
  22. You know Father Christmas, not Santa Claus
  23. You write with kokies, not felt-tip markers
  24. You’re the only nation in the world that knows the exact difference between ‘right now’, ‘now’, ‘now-now’, ‘just now’, and ‘later’
  25. You don’t say ‘yes’, you say ‘ja’ or ‘yebo’
  26. You always say ‘ja no definitely’
  27. You put ‘man’ at the end of every sentence
  28. You use ‘must’ completely out of context
  29. You know ‘cheers’ means ‘goodbye’
  30. You travel overseas and you tell people you’re from South Africa, their response is: “but you’re white!”
  31. You travel overseas and people ask if you can speak ‘South African’, or worse, ‘African’
  32. You know Americans think we live in mud huts with lions roaming around, and you have some fun with that
  33. You’re working on your computer and you’re in the habit of clicking ‘SAVE’ very often, in case of load shedding
  34. Your electricity service provider pays for advertising to promote NOT using their product
  35. You have a load shedding app on your phone, and most of the time it also doesn’t work
  36. Some of your fellow citizens have the most festive names, such as Blessing, Christmas, Innocence, Precious, Gift, Patience, Pretty
  37. You eat dried meat in quantities that would make the sensitive stomachs of foreigners churn
  38. Fort Knox-type burglar bars, high walls and electric fencing are a valuable selling point of your house
  39. You flash your brights at oncoming traffic to warn them about a speed cop trapping in the bushes
  40. You know fall as something that happens after too much brandy and Coke, not when leaves turn into beautiful autumn colours
  41. You don’t look at something, you check it out
  42. You prefer private transport to public transport, because taking a taxi means sharing a lift with 40 people
  43. You take the lift up to the gym, not the elevator
  44. You SMS your chommie, not text (well now you WhatsApp)
  45. Where the road narrows, the guy behind you has the right of way
  46. You’ve had at least one thing stolen from you
  47. The first thing you do when you get in your car is lock the doors
  48. You know how to eat a rusk, unlike the foreigners
  49. You know that South African swimsuit models are the hottest in the world
  50. You love you local entertainers such as Trevor Noah and Leon Schuster, and you understand all their references
  51. You don’t miss a movie filmed in South Africa, such as Tsotsi, Blood Diamond, Neill Blomkamp’s movies, and the new Avengers
  52. You know there are two types of people in this world, those who love District 9 and Chappie, and those who hate them
  53. You love how Zapiro always gets it right
  54. You have a opinion about the Oscar Pistorius case
  55. You see Hadidas everywhere
  56. The number 46664 is of significance to you
  57. You love the fact that we have 11 official languages, even though you can only speak one or two of them